We all have interesting people in our lives and sometimes there are the ones that we sometimes call high maintenance or tricky! The person who is always complaining or sees the negative side, the one who is never satisfied, the one who constantly judges others or perhaps the one who is always RIGHT! But no matter where you work or who you socialise with you will always have to deal with people who make things harder than what they have to be. So instead of getting drawn into their negative energy space, learn how to deal with your own emotions when you are around them.
Remember we all see the world through our own lens and as a result bring different perspectives to the table. In the workplace, it is great to have different opinions and views and is critical to good decision making. So, whilst having people with negative or tricky attitudes may create conflict remember having continuous peace and harmony isn’t ideal either. Conflict is good if handled well because it forces people to look at all the possibilities. Conflict should be allowed but managed!
So how do you minimise the impact on yourself? A couple of tips….
Awareness of triggered states
Often you may find yourself “triggered” when around these people and as a result work from your emotional state rather than in control and your thinking mind. So it is learning to be aware of when you are triggered. With a level of awareness you can then look upon this triggered feeling as an indicator of observing and being curious as to why you are triggered. Bring your emotions back into line and act from your knowing mind as opposed to your over reactive emotional state! Remember to observe and be curious not judge and throw your words around.
Pick your battles
Some things just aren’t worth being upset about or fighting for. Sometimes it is best to drop your frustration or annoyance and look for something positive to appreciate about the person.
People are fascinating and remember we have all walked different paths – sometimes we need to stop and appreciate this. Only battle the fights worth fighting.
Don’t take it personally
This is a big problem in workplaces and in people’s personal lives – it’s too easy to make everything about you! I can tell you that 95% of the time it’s not about you but about them. People generally are not walking around purposefully trying to target people and make their life difficult. When you let yourself start getting offended or over defensive it will only escalate the situation. Take some deep breaths and remind yourself that this isn’t about you, it’s about them. BUT be curious as to why you are triggered by this person!! That is where the true learning about yourself is!
In everyday life we will be challenged by other people, so my advice is keep learning how to deal with difficult or tricky people and learn how to keep calm and cool and handle situations with calm and diplomacy. You’ll see how life becomes much simpler!